Foreword by Wilford Brimley

Hello. I'm Wilford Brimley and I have dyeabeetus. From time to time we all like to moan about stuff. Well this here is a place to moan about trivial stuff that really grinds your gears. Go ahead and whinge. I have to go now, I don't like the looks of those teenagers over there.

Happy whinging.

Wilford.

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I guess I'll start. Why is it that when you phone a company and you go in the hold queue, the line quality becomes catastrophically poor. Audio dropouts, bleeps and bloops. And what's the random bouts of eardrum perforating white noise all about? Yet when you get connected to an actual agent it's like the telephone equivalent of a Dolby Atmos setup.

And don't get me started about lawnmowers. Why is it so difficult to develop a decent battery powered lawnmower at a sensible price? Sure you can walk in to Texas or B&Q or Do It All or whatever and get some schmuk-grade battery mower for about €500. Yet it takes 387,000 years to charge and lasts about 0.2 milliseconds before it needs a recharge which equates to about 3 individual blades of grass cut per charge. You would think that given the developments in electric transport and all the rest of it that we'd get a decent battery-powered lawnmower or sit-down lawnmower by now?

Oh and another thing. Bubble gum. Why is it that you can go in to a store and buy a boring pack of Spearmint gum or whatever and the flavour from just one piece will last a lifetime. In fact you'll probably still be chewing on the exact same piece well in to your retirement years in Florida. Yet you buy a pack of Dubble Bubble or Hubba Bubba, Bazooka Joe or whatever and take about 3 chews and the flavour just spills out like a reservoir with a leak.

5 minutes later and you've the entire pack in your mouth. Your blood sugar is through the roof and your jaws would make even Richard Kiel think twice about attacking you. Was there some kind of pact between gum makers that boring gums can be developed properly in the flavour department but any gum that's halfway fun should last mere milliseconds, perhaps to drive up sales?

Right that's it. I'm off to shout at some kids to get off my lawn. What trivial stuff grinds your gears?

We use a Reel Mower, our yard is very very small but when we had a 1/4 of an acre I was doing it in 3 sections a week, by the time I finished the third the fourth week would be the first section.

Had to buy it since our first house didn't have a shed or garage, then never upgraded, now its the only thing I will ever get, can sharpen the blades fast with a hand file.
Learned by myself, didn't even look at the youtube videos, but what a shock there are none, guess I'll have to start one????????????

Here's my complaint: any usage of "awesomeness" in spoken or written English, especially when prepended by "such" or "so much." This makes you sound like a 40-year-old trying to sound like a 15-year-old in 2010.

I found doing it myself is good and also videos are helpful. Maybe you should upload one? Youtube still doesn't have everything. Though there are some stuff it could do without like Justin Beiber.

This made me smile because I just watched The China Syndrome on LD last night and Wilford Brimley, Mr. Diabeetus himself was in it.

Great movie btw, 5/5 great performance from Jack Lemmon (and why wouldn't it be?) and Fonda wasn't bad.

Sorry for going OT, I'll let you guys b**ch about mundane things and throw my 2 cents in when something crosses my mind. I'm only 37, but I feel like I'm 73 so I have plenty of "damn kids" moments.

Why is it whenever a news report on TV refers to a TV show, or a banned advertisement, or a music video or something similar, they always use the worst, most potatoey footage in existence?

"The mayor of Sweet Lips, Tennessee expressed outrage at the new MC Hammer video U Can't Touch This, citing his trousers are not called Crapcatchers in a press conference earlier today"

Lets say the video was shot in 327K Holographic UltraUltraUltraULTRAHD.

Cue a clip of the video in 120p and with more MPEG blocking than a tile slide puzzle.

Just, why?